Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
