do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
