i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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