Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
...so i touched it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
