the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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