I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
