I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize