I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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