So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
