I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
