Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
