saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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