We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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