Dual....:-)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
