I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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