I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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