And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My balls are so social today.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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