So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.