Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
