tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.