C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
