Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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