you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
