We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
