Someone shit on the floor
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
