even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
