Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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