gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
