I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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