His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
