It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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