i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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