I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
