Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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