I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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