can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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