Im at strip club and am horny
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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