the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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