uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
not ubering you a puppy
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