so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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