Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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