Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
