u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
only if we run a train.
done.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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