Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
