Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.