She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.