Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.