Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day