During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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