I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Rumble strips road head = magical
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize