even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize