I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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