you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.