Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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  (630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep
  Replies (36) Good night (8637) Bad night (1036)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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  (216): Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades. http://tfl.nu/zsau
  Replies (10) Good night (3578) Bad night (929)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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  (931): On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse! http://tfl.nu/2usg
  Replies (2) Good night (2008) Bad night (838)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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  (317): that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead. http://tfl.nu/rwpy
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (1870)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.

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  (918): Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking. http://tfl.nu/gpcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2354) Bad night (714)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

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  (519): Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him. http://tfl.nu/z0om
  Replies (3) Good night (1374) Bad night (649)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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  (814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt
  Replies (11) Good night (2635) Bad night (706)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3755) Bad night (1839)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (496)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

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  (908): You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over http://tfl.nu/or3u
  Replies (2) Good night (2268) Bad night (517)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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  (701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (464)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

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  (912): I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not http://tfl.nu/o8dj
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (239)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (328) Bad night (602)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween

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  (508): Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween http://tfl.nu/vg53
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (169)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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  (256): I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth. http://tfl.nu/vzie
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (160)

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