Texts From Last Night

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

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  (575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai. http://tfl.nu/0dst
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (3128)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4380) Bad night (1078)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!

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  (407): So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!! http://tfl.nu/uf67
  Replies (56) Good night (4769) Bad night (608)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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  (412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6
  Replies (38) Good night (6041) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  they just did a mariachi cover of free bird

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  (228): they just did a mariachi cover of free bird http://tfl.nu/opnr
  Replies (21) Good night (5436) Bad night (1047)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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  (306): and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up http://tfl.nu/qck7
  Replies (77) Good night (938) Bad night (7839)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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  (519): I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick http://tfl.nu/bx5i
  Replies (18) Good night (1878) Bad night (5501)
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  (619): View more from California

  i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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  (619): i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already http://tfl.nu/q3zb
  Replies (39) Good night (2219) Bad night (4443)
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  (646): View more from New York

  congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism

  (917): View more from New York City

  cool. same. I'm in class drinking

  (646): View more from New York

  NOT OKAY

  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry for partying

  (646): View more from New York

  THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS

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  (646): congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism (917): cool. same. I'm in class drinking (646): NOT OKAY (917): sorry for partying (646): THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/g2oy
  Replies (10) Good night (2588) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

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  (831): Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/9nkx
  Replies (4) Good night (1462) Bad night (653)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?

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  (330): if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck? http://tfl.nu/xqma
  Replies (8) Good night (786) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls

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  (310): Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls http://tfl.nu/xuj7
  Replies (12) Good night (1692) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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  (208): Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often http://tfl.nu/tod9
  Replies (3) Good night (1144) Bad night (340)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby

  (1+61): View more from

  Yah. Thai people are way too trusting

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  (+61): It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby (1+61): Yah. Thai people are way too trusting http://tfl.nu/j4hl
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

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  (540): Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight. http://tfl.nu/pfpe
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (192)

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