i permit you to call me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.