I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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