You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
