Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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