I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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