direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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