you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
