Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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