He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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