Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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