Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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