your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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