And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
