What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
