1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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