if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
