Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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